Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
