its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
