I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Still dying that you shit outside
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
