Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
