I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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