He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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