The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
