so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I love you.
Bad choice
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