It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
