She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
