Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
