wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
