You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
