Will you blow on my dice?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
