What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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