I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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