Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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