i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
