the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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