yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I have post one night stand depression
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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