I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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