After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
