420 ftw
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize