its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
