I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
