i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
