so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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