Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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