I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
