To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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