god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Alive.
So much puke
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
