she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
