So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
