No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
