all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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