so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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