K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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