I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
