Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
