New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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