Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
