a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I have tasted many bathrooms
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
