Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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