Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
