what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
