are you still at the devil's house?
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
