Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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