I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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