STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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