My first STD was from a foam party
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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