I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
