Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
