I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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